A thief snatched a bag from a train in Reading, west of London, England, but paused after he got outside the station to look inside. He found enough explosives to make several bombs — he had apparently ripped off a terrorist group. He ran away, screaming, “It’s a bomb, it’s a bomb!” Scotland Yard’s anti terrorist team disposed of the explosives, while a witness observed, “I think he’ll think twice about nicking bags that aren’t his again.” (Reuters) ...The witness originally thought the guy had found a videotape of “Last Action Hero”.

MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from her shower, she stood in front of the mirror, complaining to
her boyfriend that her breasts are too small. Instead of
characteristically Telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Puzzled but willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?" she ask.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies. she stopped and said
"Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your bum, didn't it?"

Jo quickly replied "pity it didn't work for you dick Sando!"