Shoeing Freshers

JRR Tolkein wrote the start of the Hobbit (the story preceeding the Lord Of The Rings) on the blank page of an exam paper he was marking - this he claimed was because all the work he was marking was boring and he needed to alleviate the boredom. When Old Boys are bored they tend to hunt out freshers and take them to the pub, this naturally leads us on to our conclusion - Shoeing of the said Freshers. "Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!"

F***ing freshers.
Shoeing of freshers is traditionally encouraged during freshers week where certain unscrupulous people (some of them have even been known to come from the hockey club!) have a week-long celebration of another, altogether darker nature. F**k a fresher week!
(for a list of old boys who have participated in this heinous activity start with...

Ian May...
(whilst I realise I've just double posted - and shall drink accordingly - the game should be allowed to continue so all the fresher wenches can learn something useful in the library)

Bought-it...

Ian May is better known as May-Boy, or, mostly to the old boys, Lard. Lard is the best type of fat in which to cook your chips, if someone dies (actually or more to the point - drinking wise - metaphorically) they can be said to have had their chips - another expression for this (WWII bomber-crew style) is....

Bought It

(there are also rumours - unsubtantiated - that Lard bought it in another sense...)

Remus.
Tutu's are occasionally worn by dancers, dancers often find it neccessary to wear special dancing shoes in order to do their jobs. Other varieties of special shoes include: Forest Gumps 'magic' shoes, Rugby boots, diving boots, safety boots and indeed Horse shoes. The largest (in size) type of horse in the world are the shire breeds who also need shoes to work. A particular variety of shire horse (also one of the largest) is the Suffolk Punch. One of these stood on my sisters foot once. I like that horse though he's probably dead by now. His name was Remus.

LadyboyNeeknooo

Uncle Remus was a fictional charcter in the childrens cartoon songs form the south which was set in southern america, ironically remus couldnt swim much like todays southern americans. Another person who couldnt or shouldnt swim is the lady boy Neeko pulled whilst home in Swindon. Many of neekos friends tried to stop him reulting in the phrase

"LadyboyNeeknooo you hate them"

Relegation Zone

Another Ladyboy is Peck who frequently shaves his chest and visits the tanning shop prior to going on tour to entice some lovely lady into bed with him! a lovely lady who has fallen for Mr peck's charms is emma...emma used to live in the peel...another person who lived in the peel was Mr Butterworth...Mr Butterworth likes to drink silly amounts of cider and become like a little baby on the side of the road throwing grass at the mini bus driver!!drivers are used in golf to hit the ball long distances...footballers often play golf in thier spare time...there is a rumour that everton are playing more golf than football at the moment and that is why they are sitting pretty in the relegation zone!!

(I'll leave that one for scouse to reply to - I'm off to the bar...)

Sorry

After Rob Mccarthys recent Fnd exploits with bottles of wine and his bottom his girlfriend decided enough is enough and rammed something into Robs Relegation Zone, another person who belongs in the religation zone after being antisocial is young Rez, who is the males social sec for hockey.

The princessess are womens socials secs, which brings us on to sicass, sicass isnt a social sec or princess he is infact a queen, a big stinking ladyboy. Neeko has been rummoured to of visited several lady boys over the summer. Laura summers mum owns a chain of sex which cater for perverts and mucky women alike, Jo murphy or mucky murphy as everyone knows her is the muckiest girl in the west not only does she wear tramps jumpers but she has hassess old room.

Hass is a pest and likes to shark women into CORNER of dark and dirty allys

which brings us to Scouse Dave , who has been on many a corner in liverpool with a lady of the night.

In medeviel England Knights would mount horses, something which dirty Vag has never done and still to this date states his head has been super imposed on the video.

Silky has starred in many videos starring livestock, which sounds similar to livesy who is stalking NAT. a gNAT can also be a small insect or grub, Simo had a bad spell with insects or crabs.

Crabs itch and can make your skin crawl, these are terms which ladys have used to describe PerE.

PerE comes from peterbourgh and is about 33 years old making him the one of the oldest men in hockey, after Simon Palmer who is used to sit next to Roy scoines in school.

Roy ownes the Peel one of the best pubs in Bradford, and number one for Russian food and cocktails ranging from slappers twats to vodka chilli.

Chilli is the country which Butty ordered a Lama from and got a Roz, whome he has since moved in with. Anna Witty recently moved in with simon and there two sons rob and richard.

They have a wierd landlord who looks a bit like sinbad the pirate. Pirates sail on the high seas on ships and have a flag called a jolly roger.

After bally played hockey last weekend it looked like he had been Rogered jolly.

jolly is the surname of the guy from trigger happy tv, Ty is ginger (not african sunset) and he gets very trigger happy around freshers, resulting in him firing blanks.

Adie monster is another who has been rumoured to have a broken weapon.

Which brings me on to my nose after you guys read this you will break it. So sorry

Pea soup.

The only thing Scoops is going to be able to eat for a month after he's lynched by everyone he's just abused... (Shotgun third kick!)

And for once he didn't abuse me! Shotgun fourth kick anyway....

parents

bottom of a glass requires you to buy a new drink from the bar, nat requires a crate to see over the bar to serve punters...punters use the services of the girls who stand outside the peel...if you peel an orange you can eat it...eating food is pecks favourite past time after his driving ban!sando loves to drive his skoda!sando lives with tony robinsons gay lover si cass, tony robinson presents time team, a tag team is where 2 people take some other people on...rob likes to tag team girls in the form of 3-somes!!one of these alleged 3-somes was on the peel pool table!!a pool is where you go swimming!silky once had sex in a swimming pool whilst his parents walked around the outside of the swimming pool.

France - the natural whipping boy of this wonderful nation I inhabit. Why? I hear you ask. And I supply the answer as succinctly as I can - because thats what we do.

game

(Not sure if we are on switch or is so i will go from is.)

Is is an anagram for si, which is short for simon, simone and you welsh dickhead what the fuck you doing with a scooter your way too big. Bigee smalls was a rapper, rap music is crap, Thoas crapper invented the current design for toilet systems that we currently use, used is past tense of the word use. And can be used in statment like this one and "hass used to play hockey" , Hockey is sport which most users of this website have played or tried to play. Try are used in rugby which is ironic cos lil Fi Fi plays hockey and has also been known to be a rugby teamster.

Teamster helps out at rock gigs, i wear glassess or gigs i like to call them. Them pesky kids used to solve mysterys along with scooby doo. Scooby doo is a dog, an intresting fact about scooby is he is a Great Dane. Another great dane is peter Schmeical who used to play for the best football team in the world. the world is round and not flat as once thought by the ancient people of this great nation, Nati-on form at the moment scoring twice. Twice sounds like mice, mice eat cheese, cheese and pineapple on a stick is a great party favorate. Whats your favorate is a good drinking game

Recycling.
The Game (or on the game) is a common euphamism for being involved in prostitution (at the sticky end, so to speak). Prostitutes sell what is, in essence, a renewable resource. Renewable resources are popular with Green campaigners who are also quite likely to recycle things. This is known as recycling.